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Monday, June 3, 2013

The internal debate




This morning I had an internal motherly debate that went on inside my head for 3 hours. Sounds serious, right? Well, my irrational debate was on whether or not I should take Hunter (my 12 year-old Aspie) his lunchbox. Now, I just sound crazy, so let me explain.

We are in our final week of school. Actually, this is his last full day of school, so his brain has completely "left the building"! Now, I know this is going on, so after I packed his lunch this morning, I put it right next to his bag. Then, I repeated over and over in just a few minutes time, "Don't forget your lunchbox!!!"

Fast forward 15 minutes... as I'm dropping him off at school, he suddenly yells out in a panicked tone, "Oh no, I forgot my lunchbox." My tough mom reply was, " Well, you are just going to have to eat there."
This began a complete moment of drama. He explained to me that he was out of lunch money and it was too late in the school year to turn money in and blah, blah, blah! I know that the school furnishes sandwiches in these cases, so I told him I had a meeting at school for Grant (my non-aspie 7 year-old), and he was going to have to eat the school  lunch.  Then, he screamed, "You will bring my lunch to me, got out of the car, and slammed the door!"

I drove home thinking there was no way I was taking this ungrateful child his lunch. It would only be teaching him a bad lesson about how to treat me. However, the mom guilt grew and grew, and 3 1/2 hours later I found myself at the entrance of the school carrying that damn lunchbox.

Was I being a good mom or a bad mom? Should I have stuck to my guns and used this as a teachable moment about respect and responsibility? After further contemplation, probably.  However, for my own satisfaction, I took it to him 2 minutes before lunch period started just to make him sweat a little. Did he catch this subtle hint that I wasn't going to take this attitude? Heck no he didn't catch the hint! I'm not kidding myself. His aspie mind told him it was my job to bring him his lunchbox. Next time will I stick to my guns? Depends on the day. What I know for sure is that no matter what decision I make, I will doubt my decision. I'm a mom after all.