Monday, April 1, 2013

Stop and smell the roses!

I love spring! Every year, I look forward to putting the spring wreath on the front door.  I love planting flowers and watching them grow (though my husband would tell you I’m not so great at watering them). I love the renewal of the trees as they bloom with color and the grass as it turns bright green once again. 

Yesterday was Easter, a renewal of the spirit. It was an absolutely beautiful day. My family and I went to church and then had a wonderful lunch together. We talked about the meaning of Easter and what it means in our lives. This year was different though, because for the first Easter, we were away from our extended family.

 I tried to make this holiday special for the boys and create our own family traditions. I made a Peeps cake and baked a ham.  We had Easter Baskets and an Easter Egg hunt for them in the backyard. I planned to watch Hop as a family and have togetherness.  Instead, the boys played with their friends outside, and Jeff and I watched National Lampoons Vacation on the sofa.

This year like every other Easter, did not go as expected. Every Easter morning with Hunter since he was three has been a struggle to get to church. Arguing over the shirt that doesn’t have the right texture, the pants that do not have an elastic waist, the shoes that are too tight or too loose.  Normally, by the time we get to church, we are exhausted, and the spirit of the holiday is gone!

What I have learned through the years since Hunter’s diagnosis is that I have to let some things roll off my back. It has been a struggle, but I believe I am finally getting there. It is a daily tug-of-war between my will to make things perfect and my will to be happy. 

In many ways, yesterday was different for me. I chose to be grateful for the fact that we made it to church!  I chose to focus on watching Grant sing "Allelujah" with a huge smile on his face. I focused on the joy on his face when he realized the Easter Bunny had delivered eggs in our backyard and dropped off Easter baskets. I chose to savor those moments that I know will be gone so quickly. I chose to let go of the things I could not control.

This spring, I am trying to renew myself. I am turning over a new leaf of happiness. I am going to make changes in this wonderful life I have been given.  I truly believe we are given many circumstances in life we can’t change, but what we can change are the choices we make in how we deal with these circumstances. This year, I am making the choice to love myself and give myself a break! I plan to take time “to stop and smell the roses!"