Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Bonding over sushi

These days it seems to be getting harder and harder to connect with Hunter. I feel like a drill sergeant constantly telling him to do his homework, pick up his clothes and drop the attitude. However, on this day, in between a dentist and orthodontist appointment, we found time to do a quick shopping trip to the “cool” store (where all the guys shop) and have a little sushi together. Sushi is our thing. He and his dad have football and action movies. We have our bonding time over sushi.

When we sat down at the table, he casually grabbed the menu and commented on which sushi rolls we had ordered the time before. It was so sweet to watch him take control of the situation. He remembered what we liked and didn’t like the last time we were there. He grabbed the paper and marked the rolls we wanted to order and handed it to the waitress. I am still getting used to this new confidence he has acquired. I love it!

As he sat across the table from me smiling and happily eating what he had ordered, I found joy and warmth in my heart. During our lunch, he actually talked to me. He didn’t roll his eyes or call me names under his breath. He smiled and talked to me about the kids at school, his recent basketball season, and yes... girls!!!  He actually seemed to enjoy his time with me. As our lunch was coming to an end, he even asked me if he could have the last few pieces of sushi, and sweetly asked the waitress for more lemonade, “please”. He used his table manners…score!

For me, this time with him is  not about a delicious lunch but about overcoming the other struggles we face daily. These teenage years are not easy. I am trying with everything I've go to give him every tool to succeed in life, but he fighting me with everything he's got. There are days where I see no hope for a close relationship with him. My battle for him to function as an independent and functional member of society is my focus, and he is not really on board with that idea.

On this day, however, we had a breakthrough moment. For this brief period of time, he saw me for me, not a drill sergeant or the mean person making him do his homework, but just me... his mom. Tomorrow will be different. We will be back to the daily grind, but today I will...

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