My second grader comes home from school, tells me his homework for the week, gets whatever he needs out of his bag and hops to it. He doesn't always like it, but he gets done with very little effort. He wants to do a good job. I try to help him as much as possible. With him, it can actually be quality time spent together. Last night we designed swim trunks for a paper frog. I have to admit that was kind of fun.
My 7th grader, on the other hand, just doesn't understand at all!! As the schools and teachers are wanting him to gain more independence because he is in middle school, he is fighting tooth and nail. The Aspergers + hormones = major attitude. Due to middle school having multiple teachers, I don't have to keep up with one class, but six. I have to communicate with 6 different teachers. Every night is filled with questions about homework from me and lies and "I don't knows" from him. He will lie at all costs because homework is just not important to him. This starts my sleuthing. I scan each teachers website looking for what I need. I send out emails to ask questions. I go through his bag looking for clues.By the time I have it somewhat figured out, I'm mentally exhausted. This daily grind starts my "dazed and confused" feeling that lasts the entire school year.
I really find myself on that line of how much to help him. Do I keep fighting this battle or let him fail? How long do I fight it? Isn't it my job to help him succeed in life? I'm his mom. It's my job...right? Am I holding him back by continuing to help?
I obviously don't have this figured out. I would love to hear all of your thoughts and similar concerns. Are you "dazed and confused" too?
#dazedandconfused
#autism
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